Stop Taking Selfies


Joe Lose

Seriously.  Enough already.  Selfies aren’t cute or cool.  In fact, the word itself makes me want to yarf.  I think one of two things when I see a picture you’ve taken of yourself and post it on social media…

1)  You have no real friends.  Why else would you have to take a picture of yourself BY yourself?

2)  You’re just as narcissistic (if not more) than President Obama (but that’s a totally different subject).  Do you really think all your online friends are interested in seeing your self-portrait eight times a day?

I’ve found the best way to stop people from taking selfies is to take pictures of them taking selfies.  When people see how idiotic they look holding a phone away from their face, moving it and their bodies/faces around until they get that perfectly timed and framed shot of vanity, they generally stop.

Is it that difficult to ask someone to snap a shot of you in front of that statue?  Or maybe you just don’t want to go through the whole, “Oh, I don’t like that one.  Take another one.” ordeal.  I long for the days of cameras with film where you’d take the picture and if it came out phenomenally or phenomenally terrible, it’s what you had.

Your friends…  Your actual friends that you see and have face-to-face interactions with know exactly what you look like.  If they see a funny-looking picture of you, yes, they’re going to laugh.  They’ll probably even tease you a bit.  But you know what?  That’s what friends are for.  They’re not there to be subjected to your constant onslaught of your obnoxious selfies just so you can get a handful of “likes.”

Put the phones and other machines down.  Let your friends take pictures of you.  Let strangers take pictures of you and your friends.  It’s a great way to make new friends!

Now, I’ll freely admit there are indeed acceptable times to take a shot of yourself.  If you are indeed all alone and see something too incredible to pass up and can somehow get yourself in the shot to prove you were there, ok.  Road tripping solo and see a great landmark with no one around to ask for a quick picture?  Go for it.  That’s about it.

One last thing.  If you know the #Selfie song by the Chainsmokers and have ever thought, “Oh my God! That’s totally me and my friends!” You should probably rethink most of your life.  That song is a fantastic satirical look on everything and more I just mentioned. Guess I should finish attacking your lifestyle now. But first, let me take a selfie.