In Peggy Orenstein’s new book, Cinderella Ate My Daughter, she documents trying to raise a daughter in a princess infused world. Seeing tiaras, frilly dresses and plastic slippers everywhere could be bad for your daughter claims Orenstein.

“What these companies will tell you is that girls want this, so they give it to them,” says Orenstein. But what is really disturbing to me is that the choice of wanting to play dress-up and play princess is being taken away. Essentially, I understand where she is coming from, trying to make sure her daughter is not subjected to “society” and the beauty over brains syndrome some women have.

However, if taking away dress-up for fear that she will discover there is no such thing as fairy tales or prince charming or the fear of getting her heart broken that’s stopping you, let her live. She will learn one day that it’s not all about wands, magic and glass slippers and that Prince Charming does not exist. Sweeping in and protecting her from society is helicopter parenting and that needs to stop.

I agree that there is a pressure from society to be beautiful and then smart, but the impressionable young girls you hover over will learn from you as well. Influences outside your control do happen, and as a parent, it is ultimately up to you to help your daughter find her way. By blaming Cinderella and the princess complex, responsibility is not being taken by the parent, but merely throwing the guilt somewhere else is irresponsible.

Remind your child that even though society forces a strong hand in growing up, it is ultimately up to her to make her own decisions. Some children did grow up in my generation wanting to be princesses but we all learned later it wasn’t real and a fact of life. We are doing just fine, and so are generations before us. Living proof that just because some children cannot handle the shattering of their fantasies as a princess, doesn’t mean they all can’t. So don’t blame Cinderella, Ariel or Belle for being a movie character and being written that way. Blame bad parenting and stop saying “Cinderella Ate My Daughter.” In my experience, she was a vegetarian.