Plans to create extra parking for the school have been announced, thanks to the complaints of many students. One student has said, “It’s frustrating to have so many parking lots, and still be unable to find a place to park. Sometimes I will park in front a house across the street and just walk over to campus, and I just don’t want that kind of exercise. It’s embarrassing.”

No more will a student have to park in front of a strange house, because buildings across the street will be moved to a new location to allow for the paving of a new parking lot. One staff member has said that, “We’ve been hearing a lot of the students were parking on residential streets across Benjamin Avenue, because parking is difficult to find on campus. After putting our heads together this is the solution we came up with.”

To ease access to campus there will also be a tunnel dug underneath Benjamin Avenue, not only for safety, but also to save time. With this passage students will not have to attempt to cross a busy avenue, which can be unsafe considering the amount of college-age drivers rushing to get to class. Additionally this will save students precious seconds of walking time, and lowering the amount of exercise they have to engage in.

Sorry Northeast parkers. Happy April Fools’ Day.